Those of you reading this that know me may think i’m talking about my grandma, but i’m not. Some of you may think this is gonna be the post that’s about my husband. You also would be wrong. I’ve known my Rock since I was little but she didn’t become my rock until I was 14 and she was 15. We bonded over death (yeah I know that’s crazy). She lost her dad on August 12th and I lost my mom August 31st. Our parents were siblings, so yeah my rock happens to be my cousin. She wasn’t around much when we were little. We would see her from time to time when she would come to visit with her dad but, for some reason we weren’t allowed to play with her. After our parents died she started to come around more and we built this relationship and this bond that I was missing all my life. She’s my best friend, my partner in crime, my sister, the right to my wrong. If i’m ever in need I know I can turn to her and she will hold me down no judgement ever. She corrects me when I’m wrong. She doesn’t allow me to just settle, she wants the best for me and that makes me wanna be better, do better.
She doesnt know just how much I depend on her. I’m also sure she doesnt know how much she means to me. She is the only person in my life that hasn’t walked away from me, or judged me for something I’ve done. For that reason alone I will forever love her. There were so many things I didn’t know and so many things I needed to learn and I would turn to her and she would teach me. Funny thing is she is only a year older than me so she was learning and just passing information down. I’m not even sure that everything she taught me was right but oh well.
She checks in on me because she knows how I am. I will tell you I’m fine, or I will just go off on my own. She tracks me down and makes sure I’m ok. If she doesn’t like the way I sound she keeps talking until I really tell her what’s wrong with me. She understands that sometimes I just need a moment to myself, but if I’m gone too long without her hearing from me. I know that I will either be hearing from or seeing her real soon.
I remember when I tried to take my life she was the one that found the letter and came to save me. To say she was disappointed is an understatement. When she asked me why I would do something like that I told her that I was alone with no one to love me and I couldn’t take the pain anymore. She held me and told me that I would never be alone as long as she is alive. I can say she has kept her word till this day. She protected me from my mistake that day, but when things got better she defininty let me know how dumb she thought what I had done was. She loves me like no one has since my mom. Sometimes I feel like my mom sent her to me to keep me safe. If it wasn’t for her I probably wouldn’t be alive today.
I look up to her. There isn’t many people that I would say that about. She has taught me how to carry myself with grace even in the worst situations. Sometimes when i’m going off I start pulling it back in, because I can hear her voice in my head “Now Nicky why would you do that?” lol. She’s been trying to teach me that every action doesn’t require a reaction, but that seems to be a lesson I simply cannot learn. lol
I couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, sister, best friend. Crystal Mae I love you lady to the moon and beyond.
A Moment in my TRUTH 